via Daily Prompt: Tender
Tender perfectly describes how I feel right now; tender in heart, mind and spirit.
The last two weeks of May was the final curtain call in the drama that apparently was my life for the past 4 years. Even now, counting out the years on my fingers, I just can’t believe how much time that has passed and how much (crappy) stuff I’ve dealt with – or perhaps not dealt with.
The events of these years played out with a domino effect, you could say it was like an avalanche that started with a quiet rumble and just got bigger and more out of control until it was unfathomable and unavoidable.
They hit me in every corner and effected every part of my being. I am no longer the same person that I was before this ordeal started. For better or for worse? Well, I guess that remains to be seen.
I’ve suffered loss, humility, disrespect, dishonesty, betrayal, isolation, abuse and separation, my ego was hit with a huge blow.
But if this wasn’t enough, the final blow, the last nail to be driven into the coffin was when the system that’s meant to protect me ended up being a complete failure.
I like to think that truth will always prevail in the end and yeah yeah, I know, the judge and jury don’t ‘KNOW’ anything for sure and they can only go by the evidence that is before them.
But I DO KNOW the truth about the events in Feb 2015. I waited two and a half years to finally have my day in court, and every little bit of strength that I had built within since that night was once again, stripped from me when the system failed grandly.
Well, fuck the system, I never had much faith in it anyway.
The only thing that will save me and restore some of that faith is if the system could repay me in kind by sending my man home at the end of June. It’s torture being apart however, I won’t allow myself to hope (not yet anyway) because I fear the disappointment that comes with him not being released.
But come on now, fair’s fair – I think the system owes me one, don’t you?
Besides, it’s time for us to move on from our past and start to create our future.