Daily Prompt: Tender

daily prompt, FTS, heart, hustle, prison wife

via Daily Prompt: Tender

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Tender perfectly describes how I feel right now; tender in heart, mind and spirit.

The last two weeks of May was the final curtain call in the drama that apparently was my life for the past 4 years. Even now, counting out the years on my fingers, I just can’t believe how much time that has passed and how much (crappy) stuff I’ve dealt with – or perhaps not dealt with.

The events of these years played out with a domino effect, you could say it was like an avalanche that started with a quiet rumble and just got bigger and more out of control until it was unfathomable and unavoidable.

They hit me in every corner and effected every part of my being. I am no longer the same person that I was before this ordeal started. For better or for worse? Well, I guess that remains to be seen.

I’ve suffered loss, humility, disrespect, dishonesty, betrayal, isolation, abuse and separation, my ego was hit with a huge blow.

But if this wasn’t enough, the final blow, the last nail to be driven into the coffin was when the system that’s meant to protect me ended up being a complete failure.

I like to think that truth will always prevail in the end and yeah yeah, I know, the judge and jury don’t ‘KNOW’ anything for sure and they can only go by the evidence that is before them.

But I DO KNOW the truth about the events in Feb 2015. I waited two and a half years to finally have my day in court, and every little bit of strength that I had built within since that night was once again, stripped from me when the system failed grandly.

Well, fuck the system, I never had much faith in it anyway.

The only thing that will save me and restore some of that faith is if the system could repay me in kind by sending my man home at the end of June. It’s torture being apart however, I won’t allow myself to hope (not yet anyway) because I fear the disappointment that comes with him not being released.

But come on now, fair’s fair – I think the system owes me one, don’t you?

Besides, it’s time for us to move on from our past and start to create our future.

xxx

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I Like Almond Milk

coffee, food / drinks, home, to 50 and beyond, vegetarian / vegan

3D-UHT-1L-Vitasoy-Almond-Milk-unsweet-DLib-COPY-330x617This morning turned into one of those mornings when you wake up to ‘no milk’, which means ‘no coffee’ but you’re ‘too lazy’ to walk to the shop.

So you do the next-best thing and you ask your daughter if she would drive to the shop for you…? but of course, she’s way too busy.

Alas, I looked in the fridge once again, knowing too well that the only thing I was going to find, the only thing that even came close as a substitute for my usual coffee creamer, was a carton of Vitasoy Unsweetened Almond Milk.

So, Almond Milk it was.103056_honey_large

Under normal circumstances, this would be classified as ‘last-resort’ actions so to soften the blow to my taste-buds, I decided to heat the Almond Milk and use honey for flavour rather than try to perfect my morning coffee.

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I used an EXPRESSI Electric Automatic Milk Frother & Warmer to heat the milk, however, I wasn’t sure if the Almond Milk would froth so I removed the ‘frothing’ attachment and just used it to heat the milk.

I have since learnt that Vitasoy do have a product called Café for Baristas Almond Milk that has been specifically formulated for barista-made coffee.

Taking my first sip, I must say, the taste was a pleasant surprise; I mean, I could tell that it wasn’t dairy milk but I genuinely enjoyed my ‘unusual’ morning cuppa. Not only did I finish the entire drink in only a few gulps, I even went back for seconds.

Overall, Almond Milk tasted much better than I thought it would and I’d definitely buy it again.

My Way or The Highway

art & craft, birthdays, zentangle

Apologies for the long delay between posts, however I’m sure many many of you will understand exactly what I mean when I say “my daughter turned 18 last week and had her party on Saturday night. So as you can imagine, the past couple of weeks have been rather hectic to say the least.

Of course, I wouldn’t be me if i didn’t completely miss the whole  Easter weekend thing. That’s right, I didn’t realise until I started trying to book appointments for Friday only to be told it was a public holiday and the store wouldn’t be open. There’s nothing like a bit of pressure. In the end, the party went well and everyone enjoyed the night.

On Sunday, I celebrated my own birthday, quietly and with less people. So I’m another year closer to 50, which got me thinking… from now on, in every way, i’m doing everything ‘my way’.

When feeling stressed, I will often turn to creative outlets and I’ve recently discovered the mindful art of Zentangle. It’s an effective way that I found to relax my mind and clear my thoughts. I’ve been learning some of the basic patterns from a book I found at
Riot Art & Craft in Woden. The book is called Zentangle: The inspiring and mindful drawing method by Jane Marbaix.

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The patterns I’ve used in the following image are very natural and probably some of my favourites (so far).

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Who, What and Why?

hustle

Hi all, welcome to my site and thank you for visiting.

I’m Ms. 18033 and (for now) I am a prison wife. More importantly, I am a mother to 3 beautiful children; my eldest daughter is 24, my son is 22 and my youngest daughter is about to turn 18. My children are, and always will be, my greatest achievement in life.

Turning 40 was a definite turning point for me. As many people do, i had a major mind shift when my thoughts turned from ‘one day, when I grow up, I will (insert hopes and dreams here)’ to ‘WOW, I AM grown up and this is it, THIS IS MY LIFE’.

Normally, I would expect this to bring on a sense of panic or regret for all the dreams that hadn’t yet been realised, when in fact I found it to be quite liberating and overall, a very humble experience.

Last weekend, my youngest daughter, proudly reminded me that in exactly one month, she would be turning 18 and I was surprised by the tears that overflowed and rolled down my cheeks. Of course, they were tears of joy, expressing a proud moment in a mum’s life.

Today, I am closer to 50 than 40 and I know I have some big changes coming up and this is my reason for blogging. I want to change how I live life, I want to spend more time living and loving instead of working and consuming. I want to catch fish, build campfires, play guitar and write letters to my sister in Spanish. Most of all, I want to love life and that means finding a different way.

So, here goes… please join me on my journey to fifty and beyond, BUT do hold on, cause its gonna be one hell of ride.